There is no destination.
Did you know that the act of achieving is in itself an addiction. The need and desire to do more, be better, reach the finish line. It’s the action that people are so enamored with. We create a belief system that supports this behavior. The idea that “when I get there, then I will be happy.” “When I make ___ amount of money, then I will be able to relax.” But, the reality is that when you reach that destination you have laid out, you will still be there. The things you struggle with on a daily basis, the habits you form, the belief systems by which you operate, they will not magically disappear because you have reached the destination that you laid out for yourself.
Rather, they will likely show up in new and exciting ways. You may no longer be stressed for money, but, you won’t be able to shake that feeling of desperation that you’ve entertained for the last 5 years. Years of training yourself to behave in a specific way, to respond to life with a certain attitude, that cannot be retrained overnight. It’s a process of unraveling, sorting out and healing. Your circumstances will not change your life. Only you have the ability to do that.
“What the hell do I do then?” Is what I imagine you are asking right about now. Well, I’m glad you asked.
Focus on the day to day. The only thing that I can 100% guarantee to be true is that life is built on a series of days. Every single day will happen and then the next day and then the next until you’ve reached the end of your life and look back on a series of days that blurred together into years. What you choose to do each day will compile the life that you’ve lived.
If you spend everyday working toward the destination then you will look back at years of striving and often that striving thing comes with a lot of exhaustion, overwhelm and dissatisfaction.
Instead, put your energy into building a life that feels good to you. Infuse each day with the actions, activities and thoughts that fill you up, bring in joy and add to your overall satisfaction. Build a life that feels good to live. At the end of your life, you aren’t going to ask yourself what you achieved, you won’t be able to carry your accolades with you. But, you will have the result of a life well live and people well loved.
Does this mean I think you should never strive toward your goals? Have we met? Of course not! I just want you to do it in a way that feels good on your life. Stop thinking that things will improve when you get there and start improving things for yourself right now.
- Write out your ideal day. If everything felt as good as possible to you, what would that look like? What would you do? How would you feel? What would you eat?
- Write out your ideal week. What would you do in a typical week if everything was as you’d hope it to be? What would you invest your time in? How would you divide your energy? How would you contribute to the people in your life?
- Write down 3 major shifts that need to happen in your daily or weekly routine to make more room for the life you want to live.